Boobies!Boobies!Boobies!....Not realy, but it was the surest way to get people to read this.

The Good, The Bad, and The Bloggy






            Well hello again, to all my internet cohorts. It’s time for another round of “Read…that…blog!…”. All you have to do to play is….read this blog. Prizes range from a sense of self loathing at stooping so low as to read such tripe, and feelings of wild uncontrollable euphoria brought on by enjoying my senseless ramblings ….and a heaping portion of prescription painkillers. I find percocets or vicodins work best when reading my blog, but feel free to experiment. Go for the gusto and try a morphine drip, guaranteed to make the words leap right off the page in ways my hackneyed writing never could. Note: opiates of any kind must be supplied by the reader, this blog does not condone use of prescription or non-prescription drugs of any kind in anyway except to escape your troubles or to relieve boredom.

              I and my significant other have been laid up with various degrees of illness for the better part of a week now. This has given me time to catch up on a couple of movies I had been meaning to see, ponder the mysteries of the universe, and play some video games of yore. I will tackle these subjects in order as I know that you gentle reader are just soooo interested in my thoughts and opinions on all things movies, universe, and video game.

                So the first thing I would like to express is that I finally got around to watching insurrection….oh wait I mean Inception. The former was a really shitty Star Trek movie (I know oxymoron! Zing! Trekkies, Zing!) and the latter was that really trippy dream movie with Leonardo DiCaprio, Ras-al-Ghul , Kitty Pryde, and that kid from 10 things I hate about third Rock from the Sun. What can I say about this movie that hasn’t already been said by countless blogs, critics and rabid internet movie analysts? Not much. I will throw my two cents in anyway because I feel like it. In my opinion the ending of this movie doesn’t leave me pondering if he is asleep or awake, but how much of what we saw actually happened. For those of you who have seen the Usual Suspects, I will refer to this as the Kyser Soze Gambit. The KSG is as follows: Once you know that Kevin Spacey was in fact Kyser Soze, and that the whole movie is from his point of view, than everything you have seen is now in question. Other than the actual facts of what dead bodies are found on the boat, everything else could be made up for all we know. I feel the same way about Inception. . If you go with the theory that Leo is dreaming at the end, as I do, than the whole movie could be a dream. Who cares if the top is spinning because he dreamt the whole thing about totems, he could even have made up in his subconscious the whole thing about dream extraction. He could be an insurance broker for all we know who dreamt all this crazy shit. It really boggles the mind.

                 On a much more linear track is True Grit a movie about how Jeff Bridges can’t use contractions and Matty Damon would like to rape 14 year olds. This movie was awesomely bizarre and I have to say Jeff Bridges delivery in the movie (I mean did they literally NOT have contractions in the old west?) Is just flipping awesome! The Academy Awards need a new category for “Best two lines uttered in a single movie” just so that Jeff Bridges can get an Oscar for uttering “I do not know this man…” and “You are not LeBeef.”

             On to the mysteries of the universe. I kind of just threw that in there, and didn’t really spend an awful lot of time pondering much of anything except “Why do I feel so shitty?” and “Why does being sick have to suck so badly?”

             So when not watching movies and complaining about my cold, I spent a good chunk of the last few days playing Super Mario World on my Girlfriends DS. I forgot what a little bitch Yoshi is. You barely touch something and he throws you off and runs away like a downy with a lit match between his webbed toes. And god for bid he gets stuck between a couple of pipes, the little retardasaurus rex will run back and forth till the end of days. Also Mario’s own little cringe-or will not go in ghost houses or castles. Why the fuck not? Last time I checked dinosaurs that can eat turtles and evil mushroom guys whole should not be afraid of shy ghosts.

           Well, I’m sorry about the down time between posts. I’m sure you were all just dying for fresh readins’. I will not be so lackadaisical from now on.





Sincerely yours,

Zack